Life ain't always beautiful...

Why do I have such a hard time with this?

On this day of your life, Becky, we believe God wants you to know...
... that when people tell you nice things, stop shrugging them off as if they are nothing.

The sincere compliments you receive are your jewels, - collect them in your heart, - they highlight the beauty of your being and empower you during challenging times. Never say 'oh, it's nothing' or shrug your shoulders when you hear a sincere compliment. Pause, breath it in, and really feel its meaning.

 

 

I got this message from Facebook this morning, and it struck me as something that I should listen to. I really have a hard time accepting compliments/praise from other people yet I have really low self-esteem. You'd think that I'd eat it up, wouldn't you? But no, I think hearing things like this make it worse--as you feel as if people are joking and not being truthful with you. But that is probably just me.

 

 

 

The finale...isn't really all that grand.

On Monday, Jason and I walked into a court room and declared in front of God and everyone that we were done. Done with each other, done with being a family, done with being married.

It all ended. 11.5 years of my life, down the drain. I have nothing really to show for it but a bruised ego, an un-trusting heart and the faint hope that in the end, I will be okay.

It's been a tumultuous few months between the two of us with little respite from stresses of daily life as a family of sorts.

I've moved out, we've both moved on.

I won't lay blame at anyone's feet, God knows I made my fair share of mistakes and wrong turns as has he.

But, in the end it was the best decision for the kids, and that's what matters right now.

I am doing my best to maintain a positive relationship with him for the sake of our three gorgeous children, and I won't lie-- It's hard. It's hard to accept him in only that capacity as a father to my children, knowing that I have no further access to his daily life....that the stuff I've been privy to for the last decade is no longer "any of my business". Do I think I can maintain a friendship with him? I don't know... But I do know that I will not tolerate any one bad-mouthing him in front of me or to me or my children.

So, that's my life in a nutshell right now on that front. Sometime in the upcoming months hopfully, I will have some exciting news to share, but for now-- I cant.